Unlearning and Relearning||Romanticizing Suffering

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

So this has been on my mind for a while. It feels like if you don’t have a sad story before your success, people don’t take you serious or they feel you don’t deserve it.

In Nigeria we glorify suffering so much that it’s like we’re in a suffering contest. Everybody wants to hear a grass to grace story before they feel you deserve success or they base your achievement on how much suffering you had to go through first and because of this some people fake a grass to grace story.

Can never be me though because I’m a grace to greater grace child. Sure I’ve had some struggles and setbacks here and there but I would not emphasize on them to make me feel better or more deserving of what I have or who I am. Am I making sense? I choose to focus on my blessings and not things I’m lacking.

If you can’t talk about how you trekked to school barefoot because you couldn’t afford shoes(no shade to former president Goodluck Jonathan) you’ve not ‘seen anything’.

When you bring up an issue or a complain to a group of people be rest assured that there’s somebody ready to beat your complain with a worse experience, whether it’s true or not. Sometimes it may even be to invalidate your feelings because ‘you haven’t seen anything’. And the worst thing is that these people want you to go through the same suffering because they feel they turned out ‘okay’. Sorry sis, bro, you are not okay! You’re traumatized and you need to heal.

This is also why bullying takes place. Cyber bullying especially. There are a bunch of unhappy people who are not okay seeing people not suffering or struggling before they succeed. Some people go as far as holding grudges and so because of that they would decide to hate random people because of that or for other petty reasons. Sometimes, you don’t even know the whole story behind someone’s success.

We should make peace with ourselves and focus on our blessings. Don’t invalidate people’s struggles because you’ve been through worse. If people feel tired after working for 4 hours when you work for 6 hours without getting tired it doesn’t mean they can’t feel how they feel because you’ve had it worse.

Suffering doesn’t lead you to a better part. You can be successful and learn valuable lessons without going through suffering.

Stop romanticizing suffering!


It felt good to let this out whew!

Remember when I said I scheduled a post last week? It was this post. I’ve hoarded this for so long because I wasn’t sure how it would be received but I’ve chosen to put on my big girl panties and just publish it.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share if you enjoyed reading this✌️😊

My Favourite Low Manipulation Styles For My Short to Medium Length 4c Hair

Welcome back to my blog 🙋Happy Friday. I’ve been waiting for the weekend since Sunday night. Classes have been hectic and we were told we’ve not even gotten to the stressful part. Chile…I don’t like it here but I’m grateful nonetheless.I think I can finally put the medium length when describing my hair even though I feel my hair is still on the short side. I mean, if my hair can be packed into a low ponytail then it’s not so short anymore.So low manipulation styles are very simple styles which are done to prevent everyday manipulation of your hair. They last anywhere from 3 days to a week. I like to think of them as short term protective styles even though all of them are not really hiding your ends.When I’m not wearing braids or wigs which are my 2 go-to protective styles, I try to do simple styles that prevent everyday manipulation.

Low Bun

This is my favourite. It’s very simple and suitable for any occasion. Together with my glasses, it gives the ultimate serious medical student look(don’t mind me, I just had to throw that there). I usually tuck my ends in with this style so it’s kind of protective for me and I don’t have to worry about shrinkage or tangling. I sometimes add kinky extensions for a fuller looking bun to elevate the look.With this style, my satin scarf is my best friend. I always tie my hair down so it lays flat and doesn’t get frizzy or start getting loose and scattered. I’m currently wearing my hair in a low bun and it has been this way for 2 weeks now.

High Bun

Basically the same as the first but it’s rather on the top of your head. Another chic hairstyle for any occasion.

Two flatwists

This was a favourite when my hair was quite shorter and I could flatwist easily. Now for some reason I can’t get my flatwists to come out right which is really annoying. But it’s a simple and quick style that lasts for about 3 days to a week.

Twist out updo

This is the last and it’s the only style that my hair is sort of free. I’m no longer a fan of twist outs. I only do them once in a while now. But when I do a twist out, after wearing it free the first day, I put it in an updo situation by pinning the back of my hair upwards with bobby pins and leaving the front in a side fringe or bangs situation.


What’s your go-to low manipulation style?Is it the high puff? I only wear high puffs on special occasions. I used to have issues with the tension it causes on the hairline but I’ve found a way to reduce the tension to almost none.Thanks for reading.Don’t forget to tell me your go-to hairstyle in the comments😊

No Knowledge Is A Waste

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

I’m typing this in class during my break that I’m supposed to be using to take a nap because I’m so tired but I enjoyed the class that just finished which prompted me to make this post.

I had initially scheduled a post for 12pm but I held that back to do this instead. Can we deviate a little to talk about my new found consistentcy? I don’t want to abandon this blog again.

Back to the topic of the day. No knowledge is a waste. It’s such a popular phrase I’m sure we’ve heard so many times and yeah it’s true.

So earlier this year I took skincare seriously and started doing research on proper skincare, I was exposed to a lot of new things I never knew about. I was intrigued about a lot of ingredients and a lot of terms so I kept on reading different articles and blogs. I learnt a lot from skincare Instagram. It was where I learnt about anti-oxidants and their use in skincare.

I went ahead to read during my leisure and understand what these anti-oxidants are all about and how they work. Today I had a pathology class this morning and because of how bulky our timetable is I don’t always get time to read ahead of each class and yesterday was one of those days where I didn’t read ahead of class today.

So in my pathology class we were taught inflammation. Anti-oxidants found it’s way into the topic. Not in skincare though, but since I already understood the mechanism of how anti-oxidants work I was able to flow with the class.

It’s so important to read wide. Having knowledge of something doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll use it. Conversations can come up and your input would be very necessary. Opportunities may surface and something you learnt or read about a while ago would save the day.

Meanwhile, this is my 100th post on this blog. Yay to me!!


What’s one thing you’ve learnt that you think you’ll never use? Mine is trigonometry and calculus.

Thanks for reading✌️

6 Reasons Why Protective Styles Are Damaging Your Hair

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

Anytime I’m asked how I grow my hair I always say I just make my hair and make sure it’s always moisturized. Now when I say moisturized I don’t mean applying oil or hair cream to my hair or the actual LOC or LCO(leave in conditioner, oil and cream) method but that’s a whole separate story.

Today we’ll be discussing on how protective styles can do more harm than good to your natural hair. But before that you should know that I protective styles are really good and I swear by them. Why?

  • It reduces knots and tangles in your hair and keeps it more manageable.
  • It gives your hair a break from frequent styling or manipulation.
  • Protects your hair from harsh weather.
  • Reduces hands in hair syndrome.
  • Helps retain length.
  • Allows you to easily switch up your style.

Now if they do these great things for your hair how can they still damage your hair?

It’s too tight.

Do we still make styles that snatches away our edges in 2021? No ma’am, miss me with that. Your style can be neat without it being tight, don’t believe that lie we grew up with that tight hairstyles last longer. If it’s too tight, it causes too much tension on your scalp and can damage your hair follicles causing hair breakage or worse, hair loss.

You don’t prep your hair properly.

Since your hair is going to be tucked away for a while you need to make sure that it’s clean, deep conditioned and properly moisturized. Do not put away dirty or dry hair in a protective style.

You abandon your hair.

I know protective styles give you a break from your hair but it doesn’t mean you should totally abandon your hair. Leaving your hair dry in protective styles is doing more harm than good. You need to regularly moisturize your hair, oil your scalp and clean your scalp every 2 or 3 weeks.

Sleeping without a satin/silk scarf, bonnet or pillowcase.

With natural hair, we’re trying to avoid dryness at all cost and this is a good way to do so. I’ve recently started wrapping a satin scarf around my pillow because I sometimes get lazy and sleep without my bonnet or scarf. Protecting your hair properly also prevents your protective style from getting frizzy early.

You leave it in for too long.

It can be very tempting to leave your protective style for long because it’s easier to manage but that’s not a good idea. If you leave your protective style for too long your hair would be dehydrated and extremely tangled when you want to take your hair down. Your protective style should last you anywhere between 2-6 weeks. 8 weeks is okay but that’s a stretch for the brave.

You’re not gentle when taking them out.

Now that you can feel the new growth through your braids and it’s time to take it down, if you’re not gentle with the process you’ll be losing the length you were able to gain while your hair was tucked away. Your hair is going to be fragile since it has been away for a while so you have to handle your hair with care.


Are you guilty of any of these? In my next post I’ll be sharing how to take down your protective style properly and retain all the length you gained.

Thanks for reading✌️

Product Review: VO5 Dry Scalp Moisturizing Shampoo

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

Today I’ll be reviewing this very affordable shampoo I got a few months ago. I’m almost out of it so I’ve used it quite a number of times. I’m a black soap shampoo stan but I couldn’t be bothered to make one and this vo5 shampoo was really cheap so I got this instead.

This brand is famous for their five vitamins and five oils formula but this one contains just 5 vitamins and one oil.

Key ingredients: sodium laurel sulphate Sweet almond oil, panthenol, tocopheryl, niacinamide, ascorbic acid and biotin

Packaging: the shampoo comes in a 325ml(11oz) plastic bottle with a flip cap which closes perfectly so I didn’t experience any spilling.

Texture/Appearance: it has a light runny gel like texture and has a whitish transparent appearance.

Scent: the scent is not so overpowering.

Claims: Soothes and relieves dry scalp.

Pros

The shampoo is really cheap. I got it for less than a thousand naira. It was 850naira(about $2) in everyday supermarket.

It cleanses the hair properly.

Cons

It contains sulphates so it’s drying to the hair. It left my hair feeling dry and tangled.

It’s too runny and I wasted a good amount of product.

My experience

This shampoo is quite drying to be a moisturizing shampoo. Moisture where? If I don’t wash my hair in sections or in twists my hair is left feeling dry and tangled.

The only time I enjoyed using this shampoo is when I prepoo my hair with oil or shea butter. The oil barrier prevents the shampoo from drying my hair while still leaving my hair clean and the best part? My hair is soft whenever I use it this way.

I got about 8 uses from this bottle of shampoo. It would have been more but it’s quite runny and so it usually slips from my hands if I’m not careful. I feel like it can be used up to 10 times or more if you’re not heavy handed.

Rating

I’ll give this shampoo a 5/10

It’s an okay shampoo if you wash your hair monthly. If you wash your hair weekly, stay away from this shampoo. If you wash your hair biweekly you can get away with it if you prepoo your hair.


Have you used this shampoo before?

What’s your favourite shampoo for your hair?

What Having Acne Has Taught Me

Welcome back to my blog.

There’s always something to learn from every challenge you face and having acne is no different. I’ll be sharing 6 things I’ve learnt dealing with acne.

Patience

This is like the biggest of all. Acne doesn’t go overnight and no product can work overnight either. It takes a whole lottttttt of patience to see a drastic difference. And most times with acne treatments it gets worse before it gets better so you have to stay strong and consistent.

Empathy and kindness

You know you reap what you sow? Do to others what you want others to do to you. Physical flaws are just physical flaws. Having acne has made me able to empathize with what others go through, be it acne or not. It has made me sensitive and gentle towards others. I would never point out physical flaws, not even in a joking manner because you don’t know what that person is going through.

Self-care

And I’m not just talking about the physical part. I’ve learnt to be gentle and easy with myself. It’s not my fault that I have acne. Periodt! Acne affects mental health a whole lot and so it’s important to protect your mental health so I take it one day at a time. There’s only much I can physically do. I take time to breath and tell myself I’m more than how my skin looks anytime I feel down.

Positivity

I’ve learnt to be positive because I know that one day it would go away. That’s where my love for affirmation comes from. Yes, acne can’t be cured completely but it can be managed if you know your triggers and stay clear from them.

Discipline/Consistentcy

Whew! There are days where all I want to do after a long day is to just lay down and sleep but I remember that I have to at least wash my face. It’s not easy being consistent but it’s worth it.

Don’t panic

I only learnt this last month. With every fresh batch of breakout it comes with the urge to just make it go away so as soon as it forms a head I’ll be quick to pop it😩 The breakout I had in May taught me this lesson. After 2 months plus of no serious breakouts, when I had one in May during my exams I just wanted it to go away so I began popping and pressing and stressing and doing the most so it’ll go away. When it finally went it left serious dark spots on a particular area of my face which have now set me back. But we move. Now I no longer pop my pimples. I’ll let it run its course and go away.


Do you struggle with acne? What have you learnt?

Thanks for reading✌️

Story Corner||”What’s wrong with your face?”

Welcome back to my blog.

People can be really insensitive and this post is going to be very short. I’ll be sharing what happened to me early this year.

Like I said in my previous skincare post, I started this year with good skin. But somehow I had a very bad breakout just about when school was supposed to resume so I felt really bad. I was going to be resuming school after a year with fresh breakouts. I consoled myself and told myself it is what it is.

So as part of my preparation for school I needed to take new passport which is something I should have done earlier on, but procrastination won’t let me be great so I was forced to take it last minute with fresh breakouts on my skin😩 I felt insecure about my skin already but I didn’t have a choice.

On my way to school I stopped at a random studio to take the passport and all was good and fine until it was it was time to print out the picture and then the million dollar question was asked. “What is wrong with your face?” My guy didn’t stop there oh. He went ahead to tell me that I’m a fine girl but I should look for what to do to my skin. “Is it that you don’t wash your face? If you use Dettol soap all those things would clear in one week but you girls want to use all the beauty soap that would bleach you and destroy your face”

I was mortified. Have you ever been shocked that you don’t know what to say or how to react? That was how I felt. I wanted to cry there. I took my passport and left the place. I cried to sleep that night because I was hurt. I have had my fair share of rude stares and unsolicited advice but hurtful comments like that was my first time.

Acne is normal. It can happen to anybody and even adults. Not only teenagers suffer acne. It may just come in your adult years if you missed it as a teenager so be kind to others. It’s not expensive to be kind.

And no, acne just doesn’t go away. Stop bullying people who are trying to find a way to cure it. Stop telling them they have too many products and that’s what’s causing more problems.

Be kind. It costs nothing!


Thanks for reading.

Hair Update|Dry Hair, Extreme Shedding, Bald Edges And A Drastic Trim.

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

This is an old post that has been sitting in my drafts since April. I just didn’t get to edit and upload it before my exams in May and after exams I forgot about it. I just wanted to publish it before I bring out the new natural hair content I have stashed in the drafts.

My hair went through IT this year whew!

After the braids I did in late January which I took down mid March, my hair has been going through a lot. I finished 1st semester exams last month and I’m preparing for another one next month so my hair is the last thing on my mind. When I took down the braids, my ends were raggedy and rough because the girl that braided my hair thought it wise to comb my hair with a rat tail comb while dry despite my complains but that’s a story for another day. So I had to trim quite an amount of hair.

I’ve always heard that stress can affect your hair and skin but I had never experienced it on my hair before now. My skin usually gets most of the effect. Once I’m stressed, it would start showing from my face but my hair has always been a strong girl. She couldn’t take much this time I guess. My skin hasn’t really acted up yet. I’ve been maintaining beauty with all these stress.

This has been the most stressful time of my life. My routine has been wake up, eat, go to class to read, sleep, eat, read in the hostel, complain,rant or cry then read again.

My hair has been in cornrows for the most part but it’s currently in twists now. It has been dry and feels so crusty. The shedding is also crazy. I try to avoid using combs now because that’s a recipe for disaster so I use my fingers to detangle.

My edges? They’re slowly getting bald. It doesn’t also help that I sometimes twirl loose hair around my edges when I’m stressed, anxious or reading and I’ve been reading a lot, so yeah.

I’m consciously trying to at least spritz my hair with water or a moisturizing spray everyday before I go to class since I put my hair in twists and it has helped to an extent.

Update

My exams have come and gone and yeah I passed😊. April and May especially, was the most stressful time of my life. I had 6 weeks to prepare for my exam. And the exam ran for 3 weeks. Those 9 weeks? Horrible. But I’m happy it’s over.

My hair is in a better place now. The shedding has stopped, it’s no longer extra dry and my edges are growing back.

I had kinky twists before my exam started so I wouldn’t be bothered about it. Right now my hair is getting better and I love that for me.


Thanks for reading.

See you in my post✌️

Acne Awareness Month

Welcome back to my blog 🙋😊

Let’s pretend like I didn’t ghost y’all and have this interesting conversation which I’ve been meaning to have but have been too busy then lazy to type this out because it’s really long. My department is after my life guys. School isn’t supposed to be this stressful but I’m glad to be able to blog again.

June is acne awareness month and acne; skincare basically is something I love to talk about because I can relate to it on a personal level. I’ve battled with acne basically throughout teenage years till now. It’s one of those things I’ve come to accept about myself because the truth is that acne cannot be cured but can be managed.

I know that I’ve done about 2 posts addressing acne issues but I thought I’ll use this opportunity to address some things because as common as acne is, people are still ignorant and say insensitive things to people who have acne. I’ve had my own share of insensitive comments and it’s really hurtful and triggering.

One thing about my acne and skincare journey has taught me is that healing is not a straight line but a zig zag line. There would be good days and extremely hard days. There would be random breakouts that you won’t understand what triggered them just after celebrating a few weeks of smooth or clear skin. I’m still learning to be easy with myself during these periods.

Since this is such a sensitive topic, I hope I pass the message across properly because it’s really triggering but it feels good to let it out.

  • Acne is not linked to dirtiness.
  • Stop giving people with acne unwanted advice. Please keep your opinions to yourself, unless you’re a professional and even then, if you’re not asked for it, it’s not needed because you may mean well but may not be passing the message across properly.
  • Stop giving people with acne weird stares and looks. Acne is normal.
  • Acne doesn’t make anybody less beautiful.

To my people struggling with acne💜💜

  • Acne doesn’t make you less beautiful and that’s on period!
  • Be patient with yourself. The goal is healthy skin and not perfect skin.
  • Adult acne is normal and it’s not as a result of dirtiness.
  • Your acne would get better. There’s a rainbow after the storm.
  • Don’t take advice from anybody who’s not a professional.
  • Know your acne triggers and avoid them.
  • Educate and enlighten yourself about acne. Trust me, it goes a long way when you know how these things happen and what ingredients fight against it. The resources are endless on Google, Instagram and Twitter.
  • Don’t let acne cause you to start isolating yourself. Life is too short and it comes at you fast. Live your life❣️
  • Hydration is your best friend. Learn how to use acne fighting ingredients properly so you’re not overdoing it and damaging your skin in return.

This year has marked a turnaround in my skincare journey because I’ve put in a conscious effort to go the extra mile and educate myself about acne causes and management and I’ve learnt a lot to know that I was making a lot of mistakes which triggered my acne and made it worse. Black soap for example triggered my acne. I know that I could have sworn by black soap in my last skincare post but it backfired at me and I knew why it’s said to be too harsh for acne prone skin. I was planning to do a series on this but I don’t know if anybody would be interested in it(let me know in the comment section).

In as much as clear skin is nice, blemished skin is still beautiful. Textured skin is beautiful and acne prone skin is also beautiful.

From my last skincare post, you would see that I was excited about where my skin was. I ended 2020 and started 2021 with the best skin I’ve had since I can remember but sometime mid January I started having the worst breakouts and I didn’t change anything in my products, routine or lifestyle. School had not yet resumed so I couldn’t blame it on stress. Once I stopped using blacksoap, it calmed down and from there and changed my whole routine.

I’m very proud to say that I now have a skincare routine that works. I’ve dropped everything diy skincare and that’s the best thing that has happened to my skin, blacksoap being the second. I could go on and on about this but I’ll rather not bore you guys and then I’m already tired of typing.

But then enjoy this photo dump of my skin at different times this year to show you how zig zag my journey has been.

January

Ending of May

Beginning of this year

Beginning of May

April

March

Beginning of May

March. At this point I was dealing with just dark spots and acne scars

June. Stress caused this particular breakout

If you’ve read till this point please engage on this post. Let’s gist in the comments section😊.

Thanks for reading.

My First Time Trying A Sheet Mask.

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

Face masks used to be my favourite step in skincare but I’ve found a new love which I’ll be sharing another time, so let’s go back to my old love for a minute. I’ve tried lotssss of face masks. From DIYs to clay masks and peel off masks (which I’m never using again) see my thoughts on it hereAnd then there are sheet masks.

Sheet masks are basically materials soaked in serums. Even though it’s not a necessary step in a skincare routine, it helps with hydrating the skin.On one of my visits to the mall, I came across this sheet mask by facefacts and it sold for 840naira which was quite affordable, but given that it contains just 2 packs and can be used only once according to the instructions on the pack, it’s not so budget friendly if you want to have a staple hydrating product in your routine.

This product specifically says it’s for hydration and the ingredients were geared towards that as well. It contains aloe vera, cucumber extract and sodium hyaluronate which nourishes and attracts moisture to the skin(would you be interested in knowing more about particular ingredients in skincare products? Let me know in the comments)

So the material of the mask felt like a thin fabric and it was light. I applied it after cleansing and toning my face. It applied well on my skin and it didn’t threaten to fall off at any point. It stayed put for the 20 minutes I had it on. My face felt supple, hydrated and glowy after I took it off. It’s not meant to be rinsed off so I went ahead to pat the excess serum on my face into my skin then applied my moisturizer over it.

I used this at two different times of the day to see if it would make any difference. It said on the packet that it can be used on the skin to get a great base for applying makeup. When I used it in the morning and wore makeup that day, my face looked really good. A good balance of dewy and matte finish which made the make up look natural and didn’t need to blot as much oil from my face like I would have done on a normal day.

When I used it at night, I woke up the next day with well hydrated skin. Again, my face didn’t feel oily and my skin felt supple. That’s what hydration does to the skin. And yes, oily skin needs to be moisturized too.

Overall, I had a great experience with this but would only repurchase when I’m feeling bougie and want something extra. It’s better to invest in serums and moisturizers than sheet masks because sheet masks give temporary fixes and they’re not economical or cost effective because you get to use them only once.


Thanks for reading.
Would you love to see more reviews? Let me know in the comments.Don’t forget to like, comment and follow me if you haven’t.