Unlearning and Relearning||Romanticizing Suffering

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

So this has been on my mind for a while. It feels like if you don’t have a sad story before your success, people don’t take you serious or they feel you don’t deserve it.

In Nigeria we glorify suffering so much that it’s like we’re in a suffering contest. Everybody wants to hear a grass to grace story before they feel you deserve success or they base your achievement on how much suffering you had to go through first and because of this some people fake a grass to grace story.

Can never be me though because I’m a grace to greater grace child. Sure I’ve had some struggles and setbacks here and there but I would not emphasize on them to make me feel better or more deserving of what I have or who I am. Am I making sense? I choose to focus on my blessings and not things I’m lacking.

If you can’t talk about how you trekked to school barefoot because you couldn’t afford shoes(no shade to former president Goodluck Jonathan) you’ve not ‘seen anything’.

When you bring up an issue or a complain to a group of people be rest assured that there’s somebody ready to beat your complain with a worse experience, whether it’s true or not. Sometimes it may even be to invalidate your feelings because ‘you haven’t seen anything’. And the worst thing is that these people want you to go through the same suffering because they feel they turned out ‘okay’. Sorry sis, bro, you are not okay! You’re traumatized and you need to heal.

This is also why bullying takes place. Cyber bullying especially. There are a bunch of unhappy people who are not okay seeing people not suffering or struggling before they succeed. Some people go as far as holding grudges and so because of that they would decide to hate random people because of that or for other petty reasons. Sometimes, you don’t even know the whole story behind someone’s success.

We should make peace with ourselves and focus on our blessings. Don’t invalidate people’s struggles because you’ve been through worse. If people feel tired after working for 4 hours when you work for 6 hours without getting tired it doesn’t mean they can’t feel how they feel because you’ve had it worse.

Suffering doesn’t lead you to a better part. You can be successful and learn valuable lessons without going through suffering.

Stop romanticizing suffering!


It felt good to let this out whew!

Remember when I said I scheduled a post last week? It was this post. I’ve hoarded this for so long because I wasn’t sure how it would be received but I’ve chosen to put on my big girl panties and just publish it.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share if you enjoyed reading this✌️😊

What Having Acne Has Taught Me

Welcome back to my blog.

There’s always something to learn from every challenge you face and having acne is no different. I’ll be sharing 6 things I’ve learnt dealing with acne.

Patience

This is like the biggest of all. Acne doesn’t go overnight and no product can work overnight either. It takes a whole lottttttt of patience to see a drastic difference. And most times with acne treatments it gets worse before it gets better so you have to stay strong and consistent.

Empathy and kindness

You know you reap what you sow? Do to others what you want others to do to you. Physical flaws are just physical flaws. Having acne has made me able to empathize with what others go through, be it acne or not. It has made me sensitive and gentle towards others. I would never point out physical flaws, not even in a joking manner because you don’t know what that person is going through.

Self-care

And I’m not just talking about the physical part. I’ve learnt to be gentle and easy with myself. It’s not my fault that I have acne. Periodt! Acne affects mental health a whole lot and so it’s important to protect your mental health so I take it one day at a time. There’s only much I can physically do. I take time to breath and tell myself I’m more than how my skin looks anytime I feel down.

Positivity

I’ve learnt to be positive because I know that one day it would go away. That’s where my love for affirmation comes from. Yes, acne can’t be cured completely but it can be managed if you know your triggers and stay clear from them.

Discipline/Consistentcy

Whew! There are days where all I want to do after a long day is to just lay down and sleep but I remember that I have to at least wash my face. It’s not easy being consistent but it’s worth it.

Don’t panic

I only learnt this last month. With every fresh batch of breakout it comes with the urge to just make it go away so as soon as it forms a head I’ll be quick to pop it😩 The breakout I had in May taught me this lesson. After 2 months plus of no serious breakouts, when I had one in May during my exams I just wanted it to go away so I began popping and pressing and stressing and doing the most so it’ll go away. When it finally went it left serious dark spots on a particular area of my face which have now set me back. But we move. Now I no longer pop my pimples. I’ll let it run its course and go away.


Do you struggle with acne? What have you learnt?

Thanks for reading✌️

Story Corner||”What’s wrong with your face?”

Welcome back to my blog.

People can be really insensitive and this post is going to be very short. I’ll be sharing what happened to me early this year.

Like I said in my previous skincare post, I started this year with good skin. But somehow I had a very bad breakout just about when school was supposed to resume so I felt really bad. I was going to be resuming school after a year with fresh breakouts. I consoled myself and told myself it is what it is.

So as part of my preparation for school I needed to take new passport which is something I should have done earlier on, but procrastination won’t let me be great so I was forced to take it last minute with fresh breakouts on my skin😩 I felt insecure about my skin already but I didn’t have a choice.

On my way to school I stopped at a random studio to take the passport and all was good and fine until it was it was time to print out the picture and then the million dollar question was asked. “What is wrong with your face?” My guy didn’t stop there oh. He went ahead to tell me that I’m a fine girl but I should look for what to do to my skin. “Is it that you don’t wash your face? If you use Dettol soap all those things would clear in one week but you girls want to use all the beauty soap that would bleach you and destroy your face”

I was mortified. Have you ever been shocked that you don’t know what to say or how to react? That was how I felt. I wanted to cry there. I took my passport and left the place. I cried to sleep that night because I was hurt. I have had my fair share of rude stares and unsolicited advice but hurtful comments like that was my first time.

Acne is normal. It can happen to anybody and even adults. Not only teenagers suffer acne. It may just come in your adult years if you missed it as a teenager so be kind to others. It’s not expensive to be kind.

And no, acne just doesn’t go away. Stop bullying people who are trying to find a way to cure it. Stop telling them they have too many products and that’s what’s causing more problems.

Be kind. It costs nothing!


Thanks for reading.

Hair Update|Dry Hair, Extreme Shedding, Bald Edges And A Drastic Trim.

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

This is an old post that has been sitting in my drafts since April. I just didn’t get to edit and upload it before my exams in May and after exams I forgot about it. I just wanted to publish it before I bring out the new natural hair content I have stashed in the drafts.

My hair went through IT this year whew!

After the braids I did in late January which I took down mid March, my hair has been going through a lot. I finished 1st semester exams last month and I’m preparing for another one next month so my hair is the last thing on my mind. When I took down the braids, my ends were raggedy and rough because the girl that braided my hair thought it wise to comb my hair with a rat tail comb while dry despite my complains but that’s a story for another day. So I had to trim quite an amount of hair.

I’ve always heard that stress can affect your hair and skin but I had never experienced it on my hair before now. My skin usually gets most of the effect. Once I’m stressed, it would start showing from my face but my hair has always been a strong girl. She couldn’t take much this time I guess. My skin hasn’t really acted up yet. I’ve been maintaining beauty with all these stress.

This has been the most stressful time of my life. My routine has been wake up, eat, go to class to read, sleep, eat, read in the hostel, complain,rant or cry then read again.

My hair has been in cornrows for the most part but it’s currently in twists now. It has been dry and feels so crusty. The shedding is also crazy. I try to avoid using combs now because that’s a recipe for disaster so I use my fingers to detangle.

My edges? They’re slowly getting bald. It doesn’t also help that I sometimes twirl loose hair around my edges when I’m stressed, anxious or reading and I’ve been reading a lot, so yeah.

I’m consciously trying to at least spritz my hair with water or a moisturizing spray everyday before I go to class since I put my hair in twists and it has helped to an extent.

Update

My exams have come and gone and yeah I passed😊. April and May especially, was the most stressful time of my life. I had 6 weeks to prepare for my exam. And the exam ran for 3 weeks. Those 9 weeks? Horrible. But I’m happy it’s over.

My hair is in a better place now. The shedding has stopped, it’s no longer extra dry and my edges are growing back.

I had kinky twists before my exam started so I wouldn’t be bothered about it. Right now my hair is getting better and I love that for me.


Thanks for reading.

See you in my post✌️