Unlearning and Relearning||Romanticizing Suffering

Welcome back to my blog ๐Ÿ™‹

So this has been on my mind for a while. It feels like if you don’t have a sad story before your success, people don’t take you serious or they feel you don’t deserve it.

In Nigeria we glorify suffering so much that it’s like we’re in a suffering contest. Everybody wants to hear a grass to grace story before they feel you deserve success or they base your achievement on how much suffering you had to go through first and because of this some people fake a grass to grace story.

Can never be me though because I’m a grace to greater grace child. Sure I’ve had some struggles and setbacks here and there but I would not emphasize on them to make me feel better or more deserving of what I have or who I am. Am I making sense? I choose to focus on my blessings and not things I’m lacking.

If you can’t talk about how you trekked to school barefoot because you couldn’t afford shoes(no shade to former president Goodluck Jonathan) you’ve not ‘seen anything’.

When you bring up an issue or a complain to a group of people be rest assured that there’s somebody ready to beat your complain with a worse experience, whether it’s true or not. Sometimes it may even be to invalidate your feelings because ‘you haven’t seen anything’. And the worst thing is that these people want you to go through the same suffering because they feel they turned out ‘okay’. Sorry sis, bro, you are not okay! You’re traumatized and you need to heal.

This is also why bullying takes place. Cyber bullying especially. There are a bunch of unhappy people who are not okay seeing people not suffering or struggling before they succeed. Some people go as far as holding grudges and so because of that they would decide to hate random people because of that or for other petty reasons. Sometimes, you don’t even know the whole story behind someone’s success.

We should make peace with ourselves and focus on our blessings. Don’t invalidate people’s struggles because you’ve been through worse. If people feel tired after working for 4 hours when you work for 6 hours without getting tired it doesn’t mean they can’t feel how they feel because you’ve had it worse.

Suffering doesn’t lead you to a better part. You can be successful and learn valuable lessons without going through suffering.

Stop romanticizing suffering!


It felt good to let this out whew!

Remember when I said I scheduled a post last week? It was this post. I’ve hoarded this for so long because I wasn’t sure how it would be received but I’ve chosen to put on my big girl panties and just publish it.

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