Unlearning and Relearning||Romanticizing Suffering

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

So this has been on my mind for a while. It feels like if you don’t have a sad story before your success, people don’t take you serious or they feel you don’t deserve it.

In Nigeria we glorify suffering so much that it’s like we’re in a suffering contest. Everybody wants to hear a grass to grace story before they feel you deserve success or they base your achievement on how much suffering you had to go through first and because of this some people fake a grass to grace story.

Can never be me though because I’m a grace to greater grace child. Sure I’ve had some struggles and setbacks here and there but I would not emphasize on them to make me feel better or more deserving of what I have or who I am. Am I making sense? I choose to focus on my blessings and not things I’m lacking.

If you can’t talk about how you trekked to school barefoot because you couldn’t afford shoes(no shade to former president Goodluck Jonathan) you’ve not ‘seen anything’.

When you bring up an issue or a complain to a group of people be rest assured that there’s somebody ready to beat your complain with a worse experience, whether it’s true or not. Sometimes it may even be to invalidate your feelings because ‘you haven’t seen anything’. And the worst thing is that these people want you to go through the same suffering because they feel they turned out ‘okay’. Sorry sis, bro, you are not okay! You’re traumatized and you need to heal.

This is also why bullying takes place. Cyber bullying especially. There are a bunch of unhappy people who are not okay seeing people not suffering or struggling before they succeed. Some people go as far as holding grudges and so because of that they would decide to hate random people because of that or for other petty reasons. Sometimes, you don’t even know the whole story behind someone’s success.

We should make peace with ourselves and focus on our blessings. Don’t invalidate people’s struggles because you’ve been through worse. If people feel tired after working for 4 hours when you work for 6 hours without getting tired it doesn’t mean they can’t feel how they feel because you’ve had it worse.

Suffering doesn’t lead you to a better part. You can be successful and learn valuable lessons without going through suffering.

Stop romanticizing suffering!


It felt good to let this out whew!

Remember when I said I scheduled a post last week? It was this post. I’ve hoarded this for so long because I wasn’t sure how it would be received but I’ve chosen to put on my big girl panties and just publish it.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share if you enjoyed reading this✌️😊

No Knowledge Is A Waste

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

I’m typing this in class during my break that I’m supposed to be using to take a nap because I’m so tired but I enjoyed the class that just finished which prompted me to make this post.

I had initially scheduled a post for 12pm but I held that back to do this instead. Can we deviate a little to talk about my new found consistentcy? I don’t want to abandon this blog again.

Back to the topic of the day. No knowledge is a waste. It’s such a popular phrase I’m sure we’ve heard so many times and yeah it’s true.

So earlier this year I took skincare seriously and started doing research on proper skincare, I was exposed to a lot of new things I never knew about. I was intrigued about a lot of ingredients and a lot of terms so I kept on reading different articles and blogs. I learnt a lot from skincare Instagram. It was where I learnt about anti-oxidants and their use in skincare.

I went ahead to read during my leisure and understand what these anti-oxidants are all about and how they work. Today I had a pathology class this morning and because of how bulky our timetable is I don’t always get time to read ahead of each class and yesterday was one of those days where I didn’t read ahead of class today.

So in my pathology class we were taught inflammation. Anti-oxidants found it’s way into the topic. Not in skincare though, but since I already understood the mechanism of how anti-oxidants work I was able to flow with the class.

It’s so important to read wide. Having knowledge of something doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll use it. Conversations can come up and your input would be very necessary. Opportunities may surface and something you learnt or read about a while ago would save the day.

Meanwhile, this is my 100th post on this blog. Yay to me!!


What’s one thing you’ve learnt that you think you’ll never use? Mine is trigonometry and calculus.

Thanks for reading✌️

6 Reasons Why Protective Styles Are Damaging Your Hair

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

Anytime I’m asked how I grow my hair I always say I just make my hair and make sure it’s always moisturized. Now when I say moisturized I don’t mean applying oil or hair cream to my hair or the actual LOC or LCO(leave in conditioner, oil and cream) method but that’s a whole separate story.

Today we’ll be discussing on how protective styles can do more harm than good to your natural hair. But before that you should know that I protective styles are really good and I swear by them. Why?

  • It reduces knots and tangles in your hair and keeps it more manageable.
  • It gives your hair a break from frequent styling or manipulation.
  • Protects your hair from harsh weather.
  • Reduces hands in hair syndrome.
  • Helps retain length.
  • Allows you to easily switch up your style.

Now if they do these great things for your hair how can they still damage your hair?

It’s too tight.

Do we still make styles that snatches away our edges in 2021? No ma’am, miss me with that. Your style can be neat without it being tight, don’t believe that lie we grew up with that tight hairstyles last longer. If it’s too tight, it causes too much tension on your scalp and can damage your hair follicles causing hair breakage or worse, hair loss.

You don’t prep your hair properly.

Since your hair is going to be tucked away for a while you need to make sure that it’s clean, deep conditioned and properly moisturized. Do not put away dirty or dry hair in a protective style.

You abandon your hair.

I know protective styles give you a break from your hair but it doesn’t mean you should totally abandon your hair. Leaving your hair dry in protective styles is doing more harm than good. You need to regularly moisturize your hair, oil your scalp and clean your scalp every 2 or 3 weeks.

Sleeping without a satin/silk scarf, bonnet or pillowcase.

With natural hair, we’re trying to avoid dryness at all cost and this is a good way to do so. I’ve recently started wrapping a satin scarf around my pillow because I sometimes get lazy and sleep without my bonnet or scarf. Protecting your hair properly also prevents your protective style from getting frizzy early.

You leave it in for too long.

It can be very tempting to leave your protective style for long because it’s easier to manage but that’s not a good idea. If you leave your protective style for too long your hair would be dehydrated and extremely tangled when you want to take your hair down. Your protective style should last you anywhere between 2-6 weeks. 8 weeks is okay but that’s a stretch for the brave.

You’re not gentle when taking them out.

Now that you can feel the new growth through your braids and it’s time to take it down, if you’re not gentle with the process you’ll be losing the length you were able to gain while your hair was tucked away. Your hair is going to be fragile since it has been away for a while so you have to handle your hair with care.


Are you guilty of any of these? In my next post I’ll be sharing how to take down your protective style properly and retain all the length you gained.

Thanks for reading✌️

What Having Acne Has Taught Me

Welcome back to my blog.

There’s always something to learn from every challenge you face and having acne is no different. I’ll be sharing 6 things I’ve learnt dealing with acne.

Patience

This is like the biggest of all. Acne doesn’t go overnight and no product can work overnight either. It takes a whole lottttttt of patience to see a drastic difference. And most times with acne treatments it gets worse before it gets better so you have to stay strong and consistent.

Empathy and kindness

You know you reap what you sow? Do to others what you want others to do to you. Physical flaws are just physical flaws. Having acne has made me able to empathize with what others go through, be it acne or not. It has made me sensitive and gentle towards others. I would never point out physical flaws, not even in a joking manner because you don’t know what that person is going through.

Self-care

And I’m not just talking about the physical part. I’ve learnt to be gentle and easy with myself. It’s not my fault that I have acne. Periodt! Acne affects mental health a whole lot and so it’s important to protect your mental health so I take it one day at a time. There’s only much I can physically do. I take time to breath and tell myself I’m more than how my skin looks anytime I feel down.

Positivity

I’ve learnt to be positive because I know that one day it would go away. That’s where my love for affirmation comes from. Yes, acne can’t be cured completely but it can be managed if you know your triggers and stay clear from them.

Discipline/Consistentcy

Whew! There are days where all I want to do after a long day is to just lay down and sleep but I remember that I have to at least wash my face. It’s not easy being consistent but it’s worth it.

Don’t panic

I only learnt this last month. With every fresh batch of breakout it comes with the urge to just make it go away so as soon as it forms a head I’ll be quick to pop it😩 The breakout I had in May taught me this lesson. After 2 months plus of no serious breakouts, when I had one in May during my exams I just wanted it to go away so I began popping and pressing and stressing and doing the most so it’ll go away. When it finally went it left serious dark spots on a particular area of my face which have now set me back. But we move. Now I no longer pop my pimples. I’ll let it run its course and go away.


Do you struggle with acne? What have you learnt?

Thanks for reading✌️

Story Corner||”What’s wrong with your face?”

Welcome back to my blog.

People can be really insensitive and this post is going to be very short. I’ll be sharing what happened to me early this year.

Like I said in my previous skincare post, I started this year with good skin. But somehow I had a very bad breakout just about when school was supposed to resume so I felt really bad. I was going to be resuming school after a year with fresh breakouts. I consoled myself and told myself it is what it is.

So as part of my preparation for school I needed to take new passport which is something I should have done earlier on, but procrastination won’t let me be great so I was forced to take it last minute with fresh breakouts on my skin😩 I felt insecure about my skin already but I didn’t have a choice.

On my way to school I stopped at a random studio to take the passport and all was good and fine until it was it was time to print out the picture and then the million dollar question was asked. “What is wrong with your face?” My guy didn’t stop there oh. He went ahead to tell me that I’m a fine girl but I should look for what to do to my skin. “Is it that you don’t wash your face? If you use Dettol soap all those things would clear in one week but you girls want to use all the beauty soap that would bleach you and destroy your face”

I was mortified. Have you ever been shocked that you don’t know what to say or how to react? That was how I felt. I wanted to cry there. I took my passport and left the place. I cried to sleep that night because I was hurt. I have had my fair share of rude stares and unsolicited advice but hurtful comments like that was my first time.

Acne is normal. It can happen to anybody and even adults. Not only teenagers suffer acne. It may just come in your adult years if you missed it as a teenager so be kind to others. It’s not expensive to be kind.

And no, acne just doesn’t go away. Stop bullying people who are trying to find a way to cure it. Stop telling them they have too many products and that’s what’s causing more problems.

Be kind. It costs nothing!


Thanks for reading.

Hair Update|Dry Hair, Extreme Shedding, Bald Edges And A Drastic Trim.

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

This is an old post that has been sitting in my drafts since April. I just didn’t get to edit and upload it before my exams in May and after exams I forgot about it. I just wanted to publish it before I bring out the new natural hair content I have stashed in the drafts.

My hair went through IT this year whew!

After the braids I did in late January which I took down mid March, my hair has been going through a lot. I finished 1st semester exams last month and I’m preparing for another one next month so my hair is the last thing on my mind. When I took down the braids, my ends were raggedy and rough because the girl that braided my hair thought it wise to comb my hair with a rat tail comb while dry despite my complains but that’s a story for another day. So I had to trim quite an amount of hair.

I’ve always heard that stress can affect your hair and skin but I had never experienced it on my hair before now. My skin usually gets most of the effect. Once I’m stressed, it would start showing from my face but my hair has always been a strong girl. She couldn’t take much this time I guess. My skin hasn’t really acted up yet. I’ve been maintaining beauty with all these stress.

This has been the most stressful time of my life. My routine has been wake up, eat, go to class to read, sleep, eat, read in the hostel, complain,rant or cry then read again.

My hair has been in cornrows for the most part but it’s currently in twists now. It has been dry and feels so crusty. The shedding is also crazy. I try to avoid using combs now because that’s a recipe for disaster so I use my fingers to detangle.

My edges? They’re slowly getting bald. It doesn’t also help that I sometimes twirl loose hair around my edges when I’m stressed, anxious or reading and I’ve been reading a lot, so yeah.

I’m consciously trying to at least spritz my hair with water or a moisturizing spray everyday before I go to class since I put my hair in twists and it has helped to an extent.

Update

My exams have come and gone and yeah I passed😊. April and May especially, was the most stressful time of my life. I had 6 weeks to prepare for my exam. And the exam ran for 3 weeks. Those 9 weeks? Horrible. But I’m happy it’s over.

My hair is in a better place now. The shedding has stopped, it’s no longer extra dry and my edges are growing back.

I had kinky twists before my exam started so I wouldn’t be bothered about it. Right now my hair is getting better and I love that for me.


Thanks for reading.

See you in my post✌️

The Balance Between Non chalancy and Overthinking

Welcome back to my blog 🙋

This is me officially clearing off the dust and cobwebs here. Happy International Women’s Day to every girl and woman out there and you reading this.

How have you all been? I’ve been pretty good though I’ve had one of the most stressful weeks of my life since school resumed and I’m not even complaining anymore because more are coming. Anyway, with how choked school has been since resumption from lockdown and strike, I was anxious about exams this semester especially when we were hearing rumors about postponement of the exams, but all of a sudden, we saw the timetable for exams.

The timetable came later than expected and it was a shock to everybody. I was trying my best not to panic that period and remain calm. There were times where I was anxious, but I tried my best to be calm and not worry or overthink.

I wrote my first paper today and this girl is full of excitement because it went better than expected. So much better. The lecturer’s were patient with us, the questions were relatively easy and the time was okay too.

People always say to not overthink, not panic and not worry but it’s not so easy, this is me speaking from experience. This is because I feel like if I’m not thinking about it and put a lot of thought in order to make what I’m thinking about as smooth as possible, then something is going to go wrong and it usually makes me feel like I’m being non chalant and laid back about the situation. It’s best to find a balance between being non chalant and overthinking.

The balance between being non chalant and overthinking is certainly the God Factor. He makes everything easier and smoother. Jesus taught his disciples in Luke 12:22-31 not to worry and the verse which spoke to me there is verse 29.

Luke12:29(TPT) I repeat it: Don’t let worry enter your life. Live above the anxious cares about your personal needs.

This passage has made me an ex overthinker. I no longer worry like I used to. There are times when I have moments of overthinking, but I make deliberate efforts to stop. It’s certainly a gradual process and I’m sure that it’s only up from here.

I was so calm this morning that I didn’t have the normal anxiety symptoms I used to have. I’m now relaxed because I know Jesus has my back. I can now be laid back without having side thoughts about if something is going to go wrong.

Psalm 16:8 (TPT) I always remember that the Lord is with me, He is here, close by my side, so nothing can defeat me.

Jesus is the balance and any journey with Him is always smooth and easy.

Psalm 119:105 (TPT) Truth’s shining light guides me in my choices and decisions, the revelation of your word makes my path clear.

Thanks for reading.

Like, share and follow if you haven’t.

Feel free to binge my previous blogposts too.

Stay safe

A Week In My Life|School Life Post Lockdown/Strike

Happy New Year in February? Happy New Year guys! Welcome back to my blog 🙋

This is my first blogpost of the year because I’ve not been feeling up to blogging honestly. The few posts I drafted out didn’t come out well so I didn’t publish them.

This year has been an okay one so far. I’m learning to take things one step at a time and stop overthinking/worrying because it wouldn’t change anything.

I’ve still not gotten back the mojo for blogging, but I just decided to use this post as a trial to test the waters and see if I can get back to it.

So I started school again after 11 months of staying at home due to the lockdown then strike. Actually my University went on warning strike 2 weeks before the lockdown and it became a full blown strike that ended up lasting for 10 months. I’ve lost a whole calendar year and I don’t even want to think about it

We were still in first semester before the strike so we resumed to round off the semester and write exams. So let’s move into the main part of this post while I gist you guys what happened this week. I actually didn’t even spend my whole week in school but it’s whatever.

Sunday

I had moved in to school the Friday of the previous week to clean up my room and arrange my stuff for school but I came back home on Saturday and the plan was to go back to school on this day but that didn’t happen.

On this day I went to church and for some reason the service took a long while and we closed late. By the time we got to my grandparents’ house (we usually go there every Sunday after church), I was too tired to even have lunch so I took a power nap. It was short, but it made me feel better. I had lunch then I went to help in the kitchen. We were celebrating my cousin’s first birthday that day so we were preparing fried rice and that food requires so many hands on deck when cooking in large quantity which we were doing.

By the time we got the food ready and we were done eating, I had received a call that there was no water and light in school so I decided to sleep over and go to school the next day because my course rep had informed us that we didn’t have any physical class the next day.

Monday

I had a pretty chill day. I spent my day with my grandparents, did some reading, had siesta then left for school. On my way to school, I stopped at the shopping mall to get some skin care products which I’ll be sharing with you guys in another post. I got to school in the evening and then did some more reading, had dinner and slept.

Tuesday

I woke up really early on this day and started back my normal school routine. I also woke up with a runny nose which was to be expected considering all the dust I inhaled while cleaning my room during the weekend. Before getting ready for school, I did some reading then had breakfast and got ready for class.

Being in the classroom and learning again after 11 months was an extreme sport. I had only one class on this day after which I went to the pharmacy to get medicine for the catarrh then chilled with some of my course mates before I went back to my hostel. I had some biscuits while reading that afternoon and that served as my lunch then I went out(not out of campus, out of my hostel but still on campus) in the evening to buy bole(roasted plantain) and had that for dinner. I ended my day with more reading.

Wednesday

I wasn’t expecting to still wake up with catarrh but I did and I was super drowsy for the whole day. I didn’t have any class this day so I slept on and off till afternoon then I left my room to run some errands. I came back in the evening and I did little reading before I slept. This day was so unproductive.

Thursday

I had a fever at night and my temperature was high. By morning the catarrh had gotten worse. I went out to run some errands then came back to my room and had a nap. I had a zoom class that afternoon so I woke up to prepare for the class and it was an absolute trash. Network was acting up, we were too much attending the class because it was not only my department that offered that course. It was a faculty course so we were plenty and the class was rowdy and noisy. But we got the PDF file of the lecture after the class.

After the class, I had lunch, spent some time doing random things then I went back home that evening because I was still not feeling better.

Friday

I had another zoom class by 9am and it was quite better than the previous one. I had breakfast after the class then read. This day’s reading hit different because everything went smoothly and I was understanding with ease. In the evening, I went to the salon to get my nails painted a pretty shade of nude. My younger brother came back home from boarding school in the evening and we had a pretty chill evening.

The sun changed the colour to look brownish

Saturday

I finally feel better today and the catarrh is completely gone so I did some house chores, had breakfast then did laundry. I read for a while till I got restless then went to take some pictures of my skincare products I purchased. That was the post I was supposed to publish today but this seemed more fun as my first blogpost for the year. I started typing this post in the evening and finished in the night because I took lots of breaks chilling on Instagram.

Some of the pictures I took today


That’s what my first week of resumption looks like. Physical classes have not resumed fully and as much as I may not want to admit, I miss physical classes. They’re stressful, but it’s a better means of communication for my course.

Hopefully I get back my blogging mojo but I probably won’t be posting on a schedule. I’ll post immediately I have content as long as I’m free. It may be frequent or not, we’ll see.

I almost forgot, thank you so much for 200 followers. I was so excited when I saw it and it was a new follower who made me aware before even WordPress did. To my new followers, you’re welcome and I hope you enjoy reading my blog.

Feel free to binge read my previous blogposts too.

Thanks for reading✌️

Thank You

That’s all what this post is about. As usual, it would be all over the place but you’ll get the gist. 2020 has been a rollercoaster year. I went through so many emotions at a time and it was hard to describe and place what exactly I was feeling at a point. It was really an emotional draining year for me. But I’m grateful for this year.

Yesterday, someone asked me to describe this year in one word, good or bad. The first thing that was going to come out from my mouth was bad, but then I kept quiet and thought about it. This year was actually a good year. It didn’t go as planned, but this is one of my best years.

I’m really grateful for this blog. It became a safe place for me during lockdown and this year in general. I’m grateful for everybody who has taken out few minutes from their day to read. It means a lot to me. For my ghost readers, I see you and appreciate you a lot. Thank you to all my binge readers. Participating in blogmas this year was an impromptu decision but I didn’t regret it. I will reached my goal of doubling my views on the blog and that happened because of you guys.

There were so many times I wanted to quit blogging, especially after I made it known that I had a blog. I started feeling scared that my content was wack. I mean, others are blogging about other stuff but I’m here blogging about hair. The shy person in me started doubting the quality of her blog and that’s why it took forever for me to make it known. Then I was sad at a point because the people who I thought would be reading my posts never did, but that’s alright because somehow, blogging has giving me a thick skin. I’m putting my self out there to be criticized and whatnot so it’s all good. I’m grateful for the little community I’ve built here.

I almost stopped blogmas at a point, but you guys made it so fun. I felt like I had people I was writing for. It’s one thing to see the stats increasing, it’s another thing to have engagements from nice people who come back, on your blog, so I’m really grateful you guys took minutes out of your time. I eventually stopped blogmas, but that’s because I wasn’t in the right mental space. I said it in my last post before Christmas, but I thought I was going to get better and continue. I’m fine now and ready to for the next year. 2021 won’t automatically be better, but at least it’s a new year and a fresh start. We have to work for it to be a better year. That’s the truth and some people may not want to hear that, but I said what I said.

I want to appreciate 6 people who made 2020 amazing for this blog. I would beat myself if I didn’t mention their names because we need more of these people in the world okay?

Mope

I knew Mope outside of WordPress and she’s as amazing as her blog is. She was even the first person I shared my blog link to and she was the best hype lady ever. She was so sweet and so encouraging to me and that meant a lot to me. So thank you for being the amazing person that you are.

Sabrina

Sabrina is my blogging baby🥰 She dropped a comment on one of my posts a while back and I was curious to see if she had a blog and what she wrote about. Best believe, I wasn’t disappointed. Her blog is so fun and you’ll really enjoy yourself if you visit the blog. You’ll certainly want to read again and again. In fact, please after this post, tap on her name and go binge read her blog. And tell her I directed you there😊.

Cheyi

I’ve already said I want to be like Cheyi when I grow up. She’s an amazing writer and is an amazing person. She always reads and I always look forward to reading her comments because she drops long ass comments that would make you want to hear her own view of the gist of topic. Thank you Cheyi for always leaving your thoughtful comments on my blog.

Emmanuel

Emmanuel didn’t visit the blog as much, but when he does, he has a nice thing to say. Between his comment and Cheyi’s, I don’t know who makes my day more. He has been supportive in a way I can’t even describe but the fact that he keeps coming back to a predominantly hair blog, means a lot to me so thank you Emmanuel.

Yemi

Yemi is a pretty chilled blogger, she’s one of the people who encouraged me to keep up with blogmas. Her comments are also thoughtful and kind. Thank you Yemi.

Blessing

When publishing a post, I know that if nobody reads it, Blessing would. She leaves really nice and funny comments and I just love engaging with her in the comment section, so thank you Blessing for always reading my posts and being a nice person.


That wraps up this post guys. I’m grateful to be ending this year in good health so thank you once again. I hope you guys had a great year too.

Cheers to a new year✌️

Thanks for reading.

Stay Safe.

Blogmas Day 22|My Favourite Blogposts From My Blog.

Welcome to blogmas day 22.

How are you doing? I didn’t blog yesterday and I didn’t even feel guilty for not doing so because I wasn’t in a right frame of mind. None of my drafted work seemed appealing and I wasn’t just in the mood simple and short. Then I had a not so good day so I just let yesterday go. I even had plans of ending the entire blogmas. I was going to come here and wish you guys Merry Christmas and meet in 2021 but I woke up feeling a little bit better so I sort of changed my mind.

Today I’ll be sharing my favourite blogposts of this year from my blog. I blogged a lot this year thanks to covid-19 and quarantine so as the year is finally ending, I want to reshare the posts I enjoyed writing and reading (I binge read my blogposts sometimes🙈).

Make Room For What You Ask For

I think this is my favourite blogpost. This still speaks to me and serves as a reminder anytime I read it. I didn’t have as much followers at this time, so I’m bringing it back here so you get to read it too.

Dealing With Cramps During Menstruation Without Painkillers

I don’t think this post had enough credit. I shared ways you can ditch having to take all those awful painkillers we all don’t like and still get relief from cramps.

Natural Hair Trends I’m Ditching

I really loved this post! And you guys seemed to love it too because there were lots of engagements in this post and it was lovely interacting with you guys, so it’s coming back here. I shared the trends in the natural hair community that I didn’t like.

How To Be Confident With Acne/Pimple Scars

You guys seemed to love this one too, and so many people could relate a lot to this topic. I enjoyed engaging with you guys here too. If you’re new here and haven’t read it, you should seriously consider it.

6 Situations Where You Need To Be Silent

This was my first blogmas post and I enjoyed writing this. There’s so much to learn from this post so I’m sharing it again.

You Should Quit Assuming Today

This is another blogmas post and I feel like it didn’t get enough credit too. So much to learn from here too. You should read it if you haven’t.

My First Time Seeing A Cadaver

In this post I shared what my experience was with seeing a dead body for the first time. It’s really fun so you should totally check it out.

There are so many others which I loved but these are my top 7. You can binge read on the rest too. Hope you have fun doing so✌️.


Thanks for reading.

Don’t forget to like, comment and follow me if you haven’t.

Stay Safe!